Unbearable Tightness of Being

Today's Today paper carried a letter from a commuter who witnesses a minor altercation at an MRT station. All but one of the stations have lifts to access the platform level for accessibility of wheelchair users, those with luggage, push chairs, the infirm, and so on. In this case, it seems many were jostling for the lift:

"On my way to work on Friday, I got off the train at Tanjong Pagar MRT station to the sound of a man in a wheelchair shouting on the platform.

I realised that he was addressing the people in and outside the lift who were not making way for him to enter, and gesticulating at the able-bodied commuters around him to use the stairs and escalators."

I use the MRT lifts occasionally; all, or certainly most, stations have escalators in the UP direction but platforms are long and if you come out of the train next to the lift, why walk along to use the stairs?

This chap decided to have a go:

When I approached a train security attendant and told her what was going on, her reply was: "He should wait, there are many customers, you know."

I'm not surprised, and have written about the non-gracious Singapore. But I spy 2 elements to this incident.

First is the unwillingness of the MRT staff to help out. I put this down to simple fear of one person with little authority trying to chide a small crowd; you're as likely to get shouted at yourself as Singaporeans are feisty and quick to fight back.

Second is a widespread lack of compassion for the weak. From the top down, the policy is resilient self-sufficiency. Getting old and need money for medical care? Keep working. Singaporeans are not all heartless sods but it's a busy city and most people are in a self-absorbing rat race.

The poor chap in the wheelchair would be better off fitting spiked bumpers to the front and powering forward into the crowd. He'd be more respected for his fighting spirit than to sit there and plead for consideration due to infirmity.

Giz us a job mister?

The Bangladeshi site foreman wanted to know how he could get a job in England; "Very good country. Very good technology." I was stumped. "Have you applied?" I asked, but his English is only enough for basic concepts. The conversation started because I wanted to see how the piling work on the new elevator shaft was going; they put a plexiglass panel in the metal hoarding so you can watch. He was taking digital pictures of the slightly wonky concrete skirt at the bottom of the hoarding; "Not good. Site must be beautiful".

It's been a noisy 2 weeks as they are hacking the concrete skirt around the block to put in new (plastic) drain pipes, then drilling support piles for the lift shaft. He said 4 piles, but it's now 6 for some reason, each going down 35m to the rock. They start them off with a fat, 12" diameter hollow drill bit, pumping water to lubricate and flush up the spoil. It's all red clay around here which stays where it's put but doesn't move willingly, if you see what I mean.

The pile headers took about a week; they have to stop during thunderstorms for safety; now it's a new machine, more like an oil rig, to drill the pile holes which will then have rebar assemblies (four 1" bars held in a star configuration with standoffs and then wrapped around with wire) dropped down and the (w)hole thing concreted.

The lift shaft should take about 4 months in all to become operational, although tiling and tidy up works around the base can take months depending upon how fiddly it is.

Passive Aggressive Littering

You know how you read something and start punching the air "yes, yes, yes", not so much because of a new insight but because you suddenly realise someone else has the same frustrations as yourself? For me, this occurred when I read passiveaggressivenotes.com, a site dedicated to notes, signs and e-mails written in the passive aggressive style, usually about annoyances or asking people to stop doing things.

The one about cat fur posted in the letterbox hits home:

“okay, so i’m not sure if i’m in the wrong on this one,” says melanie from sydney. “i have a long haired cat who sheds a lot, so i just used to pick up the bits of fur and throw them out the window. i’m on the third floor and look out over the street, so i didn’t think it would upset anyone. but then i found this clump of cat fur in my Mailbox.”

This story is great on so many levels. There's the obsessive collection of a few hairs each day over weeks. The voyeurism of waiting for the falling fluff. The implied threat with shades of Fatal Attraction and bunny boiling.

For devotees of the obsessive genre, they also point out other sites dedicated to singular abuses of the word literally, apostrophes and quotation marks, to which I would add the work of Lynne Truss.

This week my local council sent a letter to each flat (must be important, normally they just post up a single copy on the notice board). Subject: LITTERING.

We have received feedback that some residents are throwing CIGARETTE BUTTS, UNWANTED FOOD, TISSUE PAPERS, etc out from their windows. Some of them are also littering the common corridors, staircases and open spaces.

Town Council takes a serious view of their irresponsible act and would like to appeal to all residents to immediately stop littering at the common areas, especially throwing litter out from the windows.

We wish to remind you that it is an offence under the town council by-law (COMMON PROPERTY AND OPEN SPACE) to litter the common areas.

I could rat out the guy opposite with the purple windows who smokes by leaning out of the window then flicking the butt down onto the grass, or the people above me who throw tissues out, but they didn't mention the Q-Tips. One narrowly missed me as I was walking in front of some flats a little while back and there was one in the lift the other day. What do you do with a Q-Tip in a lift? I used to use them to clean the heads of cassette players with denatured alcohol, and now I clear my ears with them, but neither activity has ever occurred in a lift. I feel a letter coming on...

New and Improved

My HDB block has been accepted for upgrade which means new lifts and covered walkways. There are currently 2 lifts inside the block serving ground, 5th, 9th and 12th floors. A new lift tower will be added to the outside (joining the external corridor on each floor), then they will upgrade one of the existing internal lifts and close the other one down. So still 2 lifts but both will stop an every floor.

It's the new, external lift tower that's the big job. It requires piling for foundations, then it's a stack of pre-cast concrete "U" shapes all the way up, then minor work at the base (the skirt, drains, tiling, and the power feeds).

The main lift work is scheduled for Dec07, and in preparation, they've started the service diversions; any underground pipes or drains where the new lift will be need to be moved. There's a nice note from the council warning of the disruption (noise from the machinery, concrete breakers, etc). The (Indian) contractors do a tidy job and it's only the noise that is sometimes bothersome.

The new lifts are nice, plus all have internal and external CCTV with a monitor outside at the ground level. One might imagine it's to spot homicidal maniacs from leaping out at you unawares, but more likely to discourage smoking, littering and peeing in the nice new lift. I've no idea if the CCTV feed is recorded but it doesn't make much sense if it's not. I expect there's hours of footage of Singaporeans madly pressing door-open and door-close buttons. Riveting stuff.

Kiasu Or What Lah?

Kiasu is an Hokkien adjective meaning fear of losing, although before I read up on the word, I would have defined it as "pushy, edgy". It's been called a uniquely Singaporean national characteristic but I've worked in China and they have something very similar. It's described as pejorative because of its negative connotation but locals will freely acknowledge it so I would say it's just an accurate description.

One widespread expression of kiasu is a keen interest in offers, cheap deals, gifts, vouchers, discounts, lower interest rates, investment schemes, stock trading, lotteries and any other method to get something for less effort. MLMs ("hey, it's MLM not a pyramid scheme") abound and get pushed at work.

The immediate impression for ang mo is one of general pushiness and lack of courtesy. Queuing is a bit hit and miss. Bus stops are a free for all, lottery ticket queuing is patient and ordered. The Free Fruit table at work turned into a melee of pawed fruit and people leaving with armfuls (some brought bags) despite the 1 piece per person intention [I ended up hanging back and just asked someone leaving with a whole bunch of bananas for one - how kiasu is that?]. The supermarket is Okay although if a new till opens up there'll be a stampede. MRT platforms have lines marked for queues either side of the doors to permit people to exit first but it's poorly heeded and at rush hour you can end up being pushed back on the train. Trying to reserve seats or tables at busy eateries with umbrellas or packets of tissues is another trick.

An interesting side effect is that it works reciprocally; people expect you to push your way though as required, so in elevators, if you are at the back when the doors open, you'd better push your way out or someone playing the control panel like a church organ will have the doors closed on you. I've had people leap in at my destination floor and press the Door Close button before I've even got off. Same with buses & MRT; any notion of having a quick look round to see if someone wants to get past is rare - I've heard people actually complain "Why didn't they get off sooner?". Bus drivers will drive past a bus stop unless someone at the stop makes it pretty clear they want to get on - it really is a Demand Stop system.

Kiasu presumably contributes to the reliance on mobiles and text messages. Customers expect to be able to talk to you anytime (so every meeting is interrupted by someone's mobile) or called back instantly otherwise. Managers expect their staff to behave this way. It sounds like a Customer-Comes-First attitude but I think it's just culturally-validated impatience.

So Singapore is an experiment in interpersonal capitalism. In theory, the pushier people out compete the others, but what if everyone is equally pushy? You would be back to equality of opportunity but with fewer social graces. Hmmm.

The Karaoke Effect

As a follow-up to the local polling on HDB lift upgrades, the results are now posted on the void deck noticeboard. The scheme was supported by 90% of voters, opposed by 6%, and the rest failed to vote. There were no spoiled ballots. Given 75% was the minimum support required to carry the proposal, it comfortably cleared this hurdle.

I'm not surprised it passed. It's a terrific deal with owners picking up a maximum of 10% of the cost and the strong support is reflected in turnout figures most national elections only dream about. Proxy voting was supported which must have helped the turnout despite the short (1 week) notice.

Works could start in 4Q07, although a fly in the oitment is that since Indonesia has banned gravel exports (don't know why), the price of raw bulding materials (sand, gravel, cement) has more than doubled, so the estimated cost of works my need to be revised.

Karaoke democracy

The flats where I live are up for the IUP (Interim Upgrade Programme) which means a mid-life pep up, specifically new lifts which stop at every floor (instead of just ground, 5th & 9th floors) and some covered walkways which will make moving around in the rainy season easier. This is Singapore, so although it is 90% funded by the Government. and 5% by the local council, the last 5% must be met by the residents and supported by a 75% majority. Hence it's polling weekend, the info packs being distributed at the beginning of the week by eager volunteers (only 5 days notice eh?). It's a no brainer, really. If you own a flat, there's no way you could get such subsidised value (about SG$1,500 = £500) any other way and your property value will rise. There's lump sum, deferred pension lump sum, weekly payment scheme or even almost complete deferral for indigent cases.

They built a natty info station and polling booth in the void deck, with models, posters, helpful staff and electronic polling machines, carpets and air conditioning. People leave with plastic gifts. All a little over the top.

So why the 2 nights of karaoke? Concerned that participation may not reach fever pitch, they setup a tent with 150 chairs and an all-comers karaoke machine set on stun. There is something heroic about woeful public performance, no matter what language its in. I don't know what it says about the democratic process, I'm just hoping it ends at the promised 10pm and I can get some sleep.

Talking the Piss

Living in flats means lifts, and opening lift doors is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get. People, bikes, McDonalds delivery boys, Indian cleaners, hawkers and school children selling ice cream are all pretty standard fare.

In Singapore, there are rules. Elevators have 3 don'ts: Smoking, Littering, Urinating. The odd person unselfconciously smokes, some littering (discarded envelopes and junk mail, cigarette butts), but no big deal. It all gets cleaned up every morning by the ever efficient Indian cleaning team.

That brings up to the third point. A strange diagram of a cherubic child relieving himself with a pair of handcuffs around him and a dire warning of $1000 fine makes the official position clear. The prospect of trying to sneak a quick leak between floors seems unappealing and offences seem thankfully non-existant. A recent conversation with a neighbour sharing a lift suggests an additional motive for high compliance. A slight pool of clear liquid (discarded drink most likely) prompted him to say there were urine detectors installed and if triggered, would stop the lift with the doors closed and raise an alarm.

The sheer unlikeliness of this scenario, even in Singapore whose authoratarian reputation is well founded, didn't dent his apparent conviction.

"You can't see the detectors, they're between the floors". You can't argue with that.