No nostalgia please, we're Singaporean

I was going to take a picture of the lay by, or at least the sign next to it, as it was a quirky reminder of times past. A few yards down the road from the local supermarket, it was barely long enough for 2 cars and I half imagine the sign was for explanation, rather than making a rule:

"Lay by for map reading. No parking."

In an age with GPS satnavs in most cars, it's a nostalgic reminder of well-thumbed city guides on passenger seats; the fingerprints providing a greasy vote on each location's popularity.

But this is one motoring respite that is no more. Indian (Punjabis I'd guess) have already ripped the tarmac and are setting the new kerb stones in line with the road. By the weekend, it will be fresh cow grass and the odd mark from the digger's tracks.

There just isn't any concept of If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix it. The lay by only protruded into the grass margin, not the pavement so apart from looking straighter on Google Earth, there is no utility from spending money to remove the feature.

Singapore is unremittingly modern and progressive; there is a simmering debate over the older buildings and their fate in an ever developing cityscape. Pretty much without exception, after much hand-wringing and consultation, the old stuff is pulled down. Sometimes it's for technical reasons like the foundations (no piles) into clay are not secure enough for the underground tunnel they want to build. Usually it's because modern office requirements don't match older interiors and there is serious money to be made with redevelopment in prime property areas.

I'm pretty sure you can be too protective of old things. Europeans tend to over value age whereas Chinese traditionally don't and shun hand-me-downs, not least because of potential spiritual entanglements with their previous owner. I shall say farewell to the lay by; I'll be the only one to do so.

Fuel for Thought

Singapore has no natural energy reserves and relies on imports of petrol and water from Malaysia, and natural gas from Indonesia. Both have notable stories this week.

The price of petrol is subsidised in Malaysia to the tune of S$17b per annum (£6.3b) as an economic perk to the masses. Good for Malaysians but also good for Singaporeans who see a big difference between the pump price on either side of the straits causeway. Today, a litre of 95 octane is S$2.186 (81p); it's about 30% less over in JB and to slow down rampant petrol trafficing, Singapore has a rule that local cars going over to Malaysia must have their tanks at least 3/4s full, otherwise you get fined (S$500) and they do check (by looking at the dashboard gauge so I suppose you could get sneaky if you really wanted).

That doesn't stop everyone filing up before driving back; it's an expected optimisation, like pressing the Door Close buttons in a lift; if you are Singaporean, it's just something you do. Many people pop over during the weekend, buy some cheap goods, go to the supermarket, valet the car, have lunch then drive back, filling up the car at the line of petrol stations just before Malaysian customs.

Now Malaysia has announced a ban on foreign-registered vehicles filling up on fuel within 50km of Malaysia's borders. It's to reduce the costs of the Government subsidy & it comes into force today (Friday). The impact to the local JB economy could be severe; at least the JB business owners think it will be, predicting some of the 300 stations within the ban zone will close:

"Die already lah, really die. Business will be down. There are so many kiosks, some will have to close shop."

With some station's patrons being 90% Singaporeans filling up that seems likely although the dust hasn't settled yet and this knee-jerk blanket ban needs more finesse to be workable.

The other energy story is natural gas piped from Indonesia via Batam. The Singaporeans pay well for the gas, about 3 times what the local Batam businesses do and with local shortages in Batam affecting trade, the locals are sabre rattling. Singapore has more than one source of gas, but it is used for ~80% of the local electricity production, so blackouts would follow any significant and prolonged interruption in gas supply.

Everybody seems to playing down the issue and it doesn't look like it will escalate like the Russian / Ukrainian spat last winter but if some Batam guys decided to get creative with the pipeline, who knows what will happen?

Chinese Electric Dreams

Touchdown in NingBo, Zhejiang province and straight off I liked the place because the of blue skies; Hong Kong and Guangzhou were under a permanent grey-on-grey sky, polluted pall quite different from 10 years ago. It's literally dismal [from the Latin dies = day, and mali = bad, hence "bad day"]. Guangdong is called the Factory of the World but you don't even need to see a factory to appreciate the industrial activity.

NingBo, twinned with Nottingham, is an ancient Chinese port city, south of Shanghai and is now an economic zone with sprawling factories (chemical, plastics) over the river delta. Hence the visit. It's also the site of the world's longest road bridge that just opened this week.

Our hotel had a decidedly local character; the lobby, lobby cafe and lobby bar were all smoking areas, a stark contrast to Hong Kong where smokers have to do the outside-the-door huddle. The bar, actually a Cigar Bar, offered a happy hour (between 5pm and 8pm?) and a live 5-piece guitar band with 2 gals on vocals, one with a flute. And it really was a cigar bar; I got dizzy just poking my head through the door but by compensation, the Japanese restaurant was really good and the expat business community seems well served; there's even river-side condos.

Downtown remains non-industrial with some historic sights, pagodas and the like. Our hotel was next to the TianFeng Tower (pagoda) but I didn't have the 5 yuan (30p) entrance fee. There's a confluence of 2 rivers, forming a third so there's a 3-rivers theme, and a bull fighting theme, captured in a large bronze ox sculpture outside the No. 2 NingBo dept. store.

The most remarkable sight was not bovine but the omnipresent 50W electric scooters. The city has banned all motorbikes from the downtown apparently to cut down on dangerous driving but these scooters can do 25mph, perhaps 30 downhill. They are nearly silent, apart from the crappy bicycle-style caliper brakes and I would question the effectiveness of the policy's aims as these things weave around the roads, cycle lanes and pavements.

They certainly are a hit here and I'm amazed this is the first place to mandate their use. One problem, they are nearly silent so you won't be bothered by any tinny 2-stroke clatter just before they run into you on the pavement. Caveat pedes.

Heroic Litter Collection

China's road manners haven't changed much; the roads here in Guangdong are much improved with the previously isolated stretches of highway now linked up. The animals, bicycles and farm tractors are elsewhere and this alone accounts for most of the improvement but they can still clog a 4 lane highway with 3 vehicles with their lane discipline. In England, the outer lane is lane-#1, then lane-#2 towards the centre. The Chinese highways, driving on the right but same principle, are signed as:

Lane-#1: Slow (Max 80kmph, Min 60kmph)
Lane-#2: Fast (Max 100/110, Min 80)
Lane-#3: Car lane (100/110, 80)

So you get cars in lane-#3 doing 80, trucks in lane-#2 doing 100, and cars undertaking both of these in lane-#1 doing 120. And that's without such wild cards as people who can't drive, Public Safety (police) cars doing whatever they want, people on the phone, undertaking on the hard shoulder and trucks on the hard shoulder reversing to get back to a missed exit.

England has a single speed limit (not even a weather dependent one which I think is an excellent idea) and a Keep Left rule. It does't work as people still hog lanes but at least it's simple. Hong Kong has inherited the English rules but this Chinese system is over-engineered and even less effective.

On a plus point, while paying road tolls are little fun, the toll booth ladies return change and ticket then wave the vehicle away with a firm hand/arm gesture, almost Japanese like. It's an uncommon courtesy, having little practical benefit, but further evidence of China's high aspirations filtering down to everyday work and behavior.

Incredibly, while all this freestyle driving is going on, there are guys picking up litter on the hard shoulder using a hi-vis jacket as protection; such selfless heroism is rare and in time of conflict one could form these men into a fearless fighting force, the only rival to disgruntled US postal workers.

Beep, screech, crunch, tinkle

It's a combination of sheet metal rumpling, glass tinkling and plastics shattering; the sound of a car crash is quite distinctive. It's also dramatic and fascinating and I'd be a liar if I said I didn't leap up and have a look out of the window when I heard it the other morning. Out on the main road, a taxi was mid U-turn across a dual-carriageway and a small black car had bumped into the back of it.

First rule of accidents: accuse the other guy before he tries to blame you. First rule of deciding who is really at fault: pick whoever was turning/changing lanes. In this case, the taxi was way out of line, starting from the left side of the road, turning across lane #2 to effect a U-turn is a dodgy manoeuvre requiring strict visual verification. The taxi driver looked like he'd swallowed a cigarette butt and was taking the other guy's ranting with glum acceptance.

But not so fast. I did say the horn was the first thing I heard. There's an old rule of aviation priorities: Aviate, Navigate, Communicate. It highlights that no matter what the crisis,the first job is to keep the plane in the air. Next is to figure out which way to fly and only then, if you have time, do you get on the radio. Obviously, with co-pilots you have more options but it works for motoring as well. In an emergency, you should be braking and steering your way out of trouble. If you have time for beeping the horn, then you are not yet in an emergency.

I reckon the driver of the black car saw the taxi start to pull away and turn, gave it some sound as a warning, but only braked when the taxi started to block his path. A defensive driver would have given himself more options and braked earlier. The light impact of the bump indicates how avoidable it was.

The taxi driver will likely take the full rap, and he'll be well out of pocket. The LTA has just allowed taxi fares to rise slightly but driving a cab is not a path to riches. The driver will rent the cab from one of the big firms for about SG$105 per day (£35). In a 12 hour shift, he'll use $40-$50 of fuel and take about $200 in fares, thus clearing about $40-$50 cash. Have an accident and he loses the fares and has to pay for repairs. A tough break in an occupation that has so many risks with little financial upside.

Vehicle Pax Disc

It seems more like a scene from the US-Mexico border: open, flat-bed trucks with working guys all sat on construction materials, tools and machines being driven around between dormitories and construction sites. Yet this is a common sight in Singapore. Not only common but legal and regulated.

Commercial vehicles are marked up with a black and white sticker showing the maximum number of passengers permitted to be carried. This ranges from 3-pax in a little Renault Kangoo van up to 43-pax for a long, flat-bed truck. They sit there, unprotected from sun, rain or accident. The number seems to roughly equate to "how many people can squat in this space?". There are no seatbelts, handles or any concessions to safety. And it's not just open trucks, closed-sided vans are used as well, and because of the heat, they tend to crack open the side loading doors.

The contrast between cars with mandatory seatbelt requirements and a bunch of guys sat on power tools is extreme. But it's just another pragmatic compromise. Singapore benchmarks itself against developed nations for economic strength, legal framework and to some extent, social issues. But mandating local companies to provide buses or mini-buses to transport workers would be an intolerable financial burden in a country where manual labourers are hired cheaply and vehicles are very expensive. Hence the compromise to maintain reasonable parity with neighbouring economies by trading worker's safety and ethical superiority.

Who put that building there?

A dramatic incident at a nearby HDB recently tested the responsiveness of our emergency services to the full. Not a terrorist attach, but an elderly Indian gentleman parking his Ford Focus. Aside: Singaporeans always park by reversing into the bay while Malaysians park nose in. I'm not sure what this means but its predictive accuracy makes it a cultural DNA test.

Anyway, our driver loses the plot while reversing and manages to mount the 5" kerb, cross the pavement and strike a 4" water pipe at the HDB base, fracturing it where it emerges from the ground. So we get a 20' fountain of water and instant crowd with kids splashing around, playing games. Pride aside, no one is hurt so we just need a 'phone call to the emergency maintenance line (it's Sunday) to shut off the water and effect a repair before the header tank on that block empties, leaving dry taps.

What we get is a police car with 2 officers, then another police car, then an ambulance with 2 paramedics, then the 24hr callout van from the services company, then finally a truck with 2 more guys who have the spanner to shut the water off. The paramedics get out a trolley and fluff a pillow. An officer tapes off the area with Police Line - Do Not Cross (in case you get wet?) and the head spanner man used a PDA to take digital pictures and e-mail them to HQ.

It was quite a circus before the water was shut off (crowd cheers and disperses). The mtc guys ordered some spares and worked into the small hours to repair it.

Another blow struck against the War on Error.

Driving

I just finished the process for converting my English licence to a local one. Its worth briefly outlining the process as it's a good example of local bureaucracy. I can get a Singaporean license but first need to pass the Basic Theory Test (BTT), which is a 50-question, computer-based, multiple-choice exam, pass mark is 45 (90%).

At an approved centre (there's 3 of them), apply for BTT with Passport and EP (employment pass), pay $6, select a PIN, receive ID card (for website and service kiosks) and a test date 2 months hence. The test dates are always 2 months hence, even though subsequent checks show empty places as close as next week, these are reserved for students of the (commercial) school which operates the BTT. With a bit of hassle, you can change the test date to be closer, but this is best done in person.

The school operates a vast system of learner cars (white Honda Civics) being run around a closed course and the local roads. In my case, I can just wait for the BTT and swot up on the Highway Code ($4). Judging by the pages being studied at the last minute, it's the Arm Signals given by Traffic Officer that are most confusing although I thought the right-of-way at junctions a tad odd as well. The rest seem pretty close to UK signs and rules.

Come test day, I need my Passport and EP again (to ensure the identity of the student) and I'm allocated a computer terminal in a room with 40 others. It's multiple-choice (A, B, C) with occasional video clip animations. The touch-screens respond best to nails (not finger tips).

Q: If you hear the sirens of an ambulance approaching but cannot determine their location, do you:
a) Move into left lane and slow down
b) Pull over and stop
c) Continue driving in current lane

The test is not that hard, but many questions are tricky - it is worth having a bit of a think as there's plenty of time. When you're done (or bored), press finish and either Pass or Fail on the spot.

When you have passed the test, get a printout of the result at a special machine and apply for the license. It's more ID checks, EP checks, photocopies plus originals of license, photograph and $50. It seems to take ages to process the form but then I get a confirmation slip which says I can now drive and the license will arrive in 2 weeks. Eight days later, a neat photo-card license arrives by recorded mail.

It's all terribly civilised, efficient and predictable, like all Singaporean bureaucracy. I am on driving probation for a year - I mustn't clock up more than 12 demerit points. It doesn't explain how I would get a demerit point but I imagine I will find out.