High Crimes and Misdemeanors

I know what treason means, it's actions disloyal to your country, but sedition is different; it's actions to destabilise or foment opinion against the Government. Wikipedia defines it thus:

"Put simply, sedition is the stirring up of rebellion against the government in power. Treason is the violation of allegiance to one's sovereign or state and has to do with giving aid to enemies or levying war. Sedition is more about encouraging the people to rebel, when treason is actually betraying the country."

The reason I'm explaining this is because Singapore has a sedition law and it's getting used against people who publish on the Internet, ie, bloggers. The latest was Tuesday; a Chinese man was arrested and had computer equipment seized for a blog post 2 months ago. Unfortunately for him, someone actually read it and linked to it on a popular socio-political blog (tomorrow.sg) saying how stupid this guy was. Then people complained. Then the police turned up.

So what did he say? It was an unnecessary, ignorant, crude tirade about a guy sitting on the floor of an MRT carriage. Where he got into trouble was that he stated and taunted the guy's race so he potentially fell foul of Section 3(e)

"(e) to promote feelings of ill-will and hostility between different races or classes of the population of Singapore"

Previous cases of sedition include (from the ST article):

• April 2008: Ong Kian Cheong, 49, and wife, Dorothy Chan Hien Leng, 44, charged under Sedition Act and Undesirable Publications Act for allegedly distributing evangelistic publication that cast Prophet Muhammad in negative light.
• 2006: 21-year-old accounts assistant given stern warning for putting up offensive cartoon of Jesus on a blog.
• 2005: 27-year-old man becomes first since 1966 to be jailed (for a month) for posting racist comments online. In connected case, 25-year-old given day's jail and fined maximum $5,000. Later that year, 17-year-old blogger given probation.

As an Englishman, this feels very strange. Robust personal speech in England is not protected by a constitution as in America but having an angry, both-barrels rant doesn't feel like a criminal offense. I haven't read the full blog post (he has already deleted it and plans to write an apology) but I don't see incitement or a subversive intent. If he was a Hollywood celebrity, he would issue a written apology, check into rehab then tearfully repent on Oprah. Better to shun intolerance; gagging the source is at best unimaginative, and at worst, generates publicity.

England has not had race riots in recent memory (unless you count Brixton and Toxteth?) whereas Singapore has (1964) and the Government is determined to not just create but enforce a peaceful, multi-racial society. The issue of public expression is contemporary with the British Government's attempt to frame a Racial Hatred law so strict that comedy clubs would have to close due to lack of source material.

Only last week, the Singaporean Government wrote in response to an open letter from a group of prominent bloggers that its regulatory light touch of the Internet was clearly working and is now open to an even lighter-touch regime. So far, it's all sledgehammers and crushed nuts.

So I started off a teensy bit smug that England doesn't have or need a law on sedition but the Internet is turning every home into a printing press (which must be registered in Singapore) and the legal balance between this new-found public expression and social responsibility is in flux.

Gone Missing

The annual Miss Singapore Universe beauty pageant crowned Shenise Wong as the winner last night but you'll have to read about in the paper as it wasn't televised by MediaCorp due to falling audience interest. Shenise is pretty, tall, dark and a foreign exchange broker who when asked what animal she would most like to be chose a dog, for its loyalty and intelligence.

Even with the publicity from films like Miss Congeniality, a Sandra Bullock and Michael Caine light comedy of a few years back, the tense world of lip gloss and sling backs is a sub-cultural backwater. The Straits Times have a discussion board that is often refreshingly down to earth and welcome contrast to the stuffy tone of the main paper. On this topic, the apathy was tangible so when one commenter linked to the missosology.org and I initially mis-scanned it as misogyny.org (how Freudian is that?).

This is the kind of sideways contextual teleport that is unique to the web. The site's About This Website is a hoot; it was setup by a Filipino in 1998, initially as a personal site, but by 2001 was dedicated to the various Miss Whatever competitions, and was quickly creaking with 115 hits a day, requiring a change of hosting company. Wow, 115. Per day.

Shenise and her canine fantasy now go on to represent Singapore in the international finals held in Vietnam in July.

Vesak

Monday is a public holiday in Singapore, Vesak Day, (also known as Wesak) is the "Buddha's birthday"; it's not really his birthday, more a combination of his birth, subsequent enlightenment and final nirvana (achieved by death). Tagging the celebration as a birthday should be considered a Western cultural influence and possibly a simplification of the complexity of Indian subcontinent's spiritual narratives.

Travelers may face congestion with the ICA warning on Thursday to expect the two border checkpoints over to Malaysia to be extra busy as many people head off home or for a short break over the long weekend. On the plus side, the trains will run all night Sat and Sun.

Singapore and Malaysia set the date as the 15th day of the 4th lunar month, and since Chinese New Year was 7th Feb 2008, so Vesak is ~22nd May 2008. In keeping with the Buddha's teachings and way of life, Vesak is perhaps the quietest of the public holidays as Buddhists don't go around setting fire to things, letting off fireworks, having lavish parties or other such excesses. Instead, there will be events at temples, charitable works, readings of sutras, modest vegetarian meals and compassionate behavior. Ommmmmmmmmmmm.

Going Underground

Singapore is looking to dig itself out of its real estate troubles. I can imagine the meeting:

Official A: Okay Gentlemen, settle down. As you know, Singapore is an island and despite our best efforts at land reclamation, we can't build out much more sideways without sparking an international boundary dispute. The hi-rise factory idea isn't working out. We need a new plan.

Official B: How about building underground? We could claim ownership down to the earth's core.

Official A: Brilliant!

Singapore recently complete a major project to move much of its military ammunition storage into underground rock caverns. Despite the cost, it's worth it to free up the valuable surface land (300 ha) needed to provide a safety buffer zone around the ammo bunkers.

Now, eagle-eyed watchers have spotted a new tender issued to explore the feasibility of other 'underground rock cavern' (URC) facilities:

Singapore is looking at building underground power stations, water reclamation plants, wafer fabs and R&D labs, data centres, warehouses and port and airport logistics centres to free up surface land for other economic uses.

I thought the explosives cache was a good idea and they were sensible enough to say that the bomb storage is under a disused quarry, not housing estates. Well, that's what the claim, anyway. They're also building a petroleum storage facility under Jurong Island for crude oil and oil products like naphtha, condensate and gas oil, which also seems reasonable if only because of the neat symmetry of oil extraction and subsequent storage.

It's a pot pourri of ideas: ammo (dangerous); oil (practical); warehousing (economic); data centres (secure); factories (strange); R&D labs (huh?). Aren't geeky engineers pale enough? Notably, they didn't say what sort of R&D, perhaps it's something ... risky? The concept also puts the Singapore Government in league with some paranoid and sinister people, for example:

• James Bond super villains had secret, underground facilities.
• Dictators and military types love bunkers.
• In Silence of the Lambs, the psychopath held captives in a well dug in the cellar.
• In the post-apocalyptic Matrix, mankind had retreated underground.
• Austrian men like holding women in cellars. [what is that all about?]

The English language is full of negative associations with that which is below us: "underworld" (hell), "under-hand" (sneaky), "under the table deal" (corrupt); that was "beneath even you" (contemptible); although ironically "downtown" is not perjorative. Whatever the practical and economic merits of the idea, it puts them in undistinguished company.

Expensive Suckers

Singapore seems caught up in the global vacuum cleaner conspiracy. Local evidence was found during an aimless wander around a hardware store in Vivocity, the shopping mall down at the harbour front. Such stores are pretty rubbish by my standards; all bubble packs and finished goods with few raw materials. Anyway, they had a vacuum cleaner on display, nothing super fancy, a drag along the floor model on casters with a hose. The ad copy went "Why spend twice as much?" Sticker price: S$1,760 (£660).

I've seen this design before with a glass bowl holding water that has some beneficial filtering properties. The paper has a gwai loh writing a regular column (not as good as this blog, I assume you) and a recent article related his inability to resist door to door sales people and how his wife hastily intervened before he bought a $3,000 vacuum cleaner, a snip at $50 a month on the drip feed.

I had woman peddling Hoovers at my door. She didn't have it with her, I imagine it was downstairs until she got a prospect, so I don't know what it was like but for investigative purposes I'm sorry I didn't pursue it.

I've heard similar tales in England. My ex boss' son (nice but a tad on the delinquent side), sold a deluxe £800 model for a while. It claimed a cast iron case with heavy duty motor and a special nozzle; you set it in the corner of a room with the nozzle blowing air down one wall. After a while, it sets up a circulating air current which cleans the dust out of the room's air.

Reality check: a vacuum cleaner consists of an electric motor driving a fan, a (plastic) casing, hose and optionally, a filter. At the factory gates in China, we are looking at less than £10. For me, Dysons are pushing it; every one I've ever used clogged then broke. A sales lady in John Lewis once confided that most Dysons were bought by men (flashy, macho design you see). Personally, I have some hope invested in those robot ones that scuttle around all day annoying cats. They're a bit fragile and underpowered at the moment but seem ideal for hard wood flooring.

So there's established precedent for aspirational vacuum cleaner sales though I wonder about the psychological sub-text: "My house is dirty, ergo I am unworthy. Spend a lot of money in penance and I can be rid of my sin." You'd be better off donating money towards genetic research into reducing human skin cell production but I suppose if you insist on spending £1,000 on a vacuum cleaner, it might as well be for spiritual reasons.

An Irritating Truth (lah)

I've written before about how Singaporean speech is an eclectic tonic of English and Chinese with mixed vocabulary, grammar and accent. For balance sake, I should point out examples of excellent English use.

A newspaper covered an explosion in some Bukit Merah flats which blew out windows and substantially destroyed or damage several units. After describing the neighbours collection of belongings, the article went on to quote the fire dept:

"A gas leak is believed to have contributed to the explosion"

Well, Duh! But I wonder how many people would have carelessly used "caused" in this instance? A cause is certainly more definite but likely overstating the body of evidence. Next up is an example of a colleague answering the 'phone in the office:

"Yes?" ... "This is she" ...

That's nice and absolutely correct. It's all a matter of background of course. Schooling and parents' speech at home are primary contributors.

But 2 memorable examples from over 18 months is worrying thin evidence of strong language competency. Singapore should be in a supreme position to capitalise on its widespread English and Mandarin ability. They should be a regional Rosetta Stone, valuable in the global marketplace but, in all honesty, the opportunity is being squandered by the casual mish-mash that is Singlish combined with the regional accent.

I think it's quaint and fun, but the harsh economic reality is that the status quo vox populi may be cute & comforting but on the world stage, it's baby talk that needs to be left behind.

Generation Game

The weekend paper had a multi-page spread about Generation-Y Singaporeans in the workplace and how their attitudes on life and work differ from previous generations. Given that the purpose of children is to rebel against their parents, I'm wondering where the story is.

Anyway, Gen-Y is loosely defined as those born roughly between 1978 and 1994 and is a simplistic progression from Generation-X (originally coined as a pejorative by fiction writer Douglas Coupland in 1991).

The key characteristics of Gen-Y are that they grew up with digital technology and now use it as part of their everyday lives, so mobile phones, video games, X-Box, Facebook, MySpace, SMS, IM, Twitter; all of which is supposed to explain the Gen-Y trait of seeking instant gratification. How it explains their penchant for using scooters in the office, getting Celtic knot tattoos, piercing their faces with metal bars and saying "Whatever" a lot isn't explained.

The Times had an vaguely amusing quiz to determine if you are a Gen-Y:

1. Do you have your own web page? (1 point)
2. Have you made a web page for someone else? (2 points)
3. Do you keep in touch with your friends via instant messaging? (1 point)
4. Do you SMS your friends? (2 pts)
5. Do you watch vidoes on YouTube? (1 pt)
6. Do you remix videos downloaded from the Internet? (1 pt)
7. Have you bought & downloaded music from the Internet? (1 pt)
8. Do you know how to download free (but illegal) music? (2 pts)
9. Do you blog professionally? (1 pt)
   
10. Do you blog as a online diary (2 pts)
11. Have you used MySpace at least 5 times? (1 pt)
12. Do you communicate with friends viz Facebook? (2 pts)
13. Do you use e-mail with your parents (1 pt)
14. Do you SMS your parents? (2 pts)
15. Do you share photos from your mobile phone with friends (2 pts)

Score yourself as follows:
0-6 points and you are a baby boomer
7-12 points, you are Gen-X
>12 points, Gen-Y

At about 13pts, I am a Gen-Y apparently, despite being ~15 years too old. My ever faithful partner in life scored as a Baby Boomer. Both reasonable results given the quiz covered use of digital technology, not wider attitudes towards work, politics, personal goals, and so on.

The end of the article included a list (gack! about as predictable as a montage in an action movie) of 8 ways to get the best/most from Gen-Yers:

1. Be Precise. Set concrete, aspirational goals to direct their ambition.
2. Boring is Bad. Work needs to be challenging and changing.
3. Constant Recognition. Feed them a regular diet of reinforcement and constant feedback. Do appraisals monthly or quarterly.
4. Group Therapy. Assign teams and leverage their desire for collaboration.
5. Work-Like Balance. They have lots of outside interests; get to know what they are and leave time for them.
6. Generation Why. Explain the big picture and what part they play in it.
7. No Bullying. Command-&-control leadership fails, use Emotional Intelligence.
8. Office Party. Make work fun and employee-centered.

Why make a big story about young people labeled with an ill-defined and disputed moniker? There's little Singaporean spin on the story and much of it could be a straight AP piece off the wire. It does play to young people as reassuring recognition from nasty authority types. Mainly it confirms what we already know, that young people are selfish hedonists who are a pain to integrate into post-industrial, commercial enterprises. It's called Generation-Next and ever will it be so.

Don't Use the F-word

It's the natural state of humans to compete and whenever a country or city announces a new skyscraper, airport, theme park or other attraction, journalists reach for the record books. Singapore has now finished its latest attraction, the Singapore Flyer, a large wheel with observation pods that turns; yes, it looks like the London Eye and it claims to be the "world's largest observation wheel".

Of course, it has to be the biggest, otherwise what would be the point, and it's a lot bigger, at 165m tall (~42 stories) it's fully 30m taller than the Eye. It doesn't cantilever out over water, rather its hub is held conventionally on both sides like a bicycle wheel, but the rest of the details are similar; air conditioned pods that rotate to offer a smooth, 360deg turn offering views over Singapore.

The flyer is built downtown-ish, across from the planned Marina Bay Sands casino complex, near where the F1 race pits will be. It's not opposite the Parliament buildings or anything like that which is where the London Eye comparison starts to break down a bit.

When building attractions, it's all about location. Malaysia is rightly proud of the Petronas Twin Towers, at the time of construction, technically the world's highest building (452m). Mind you, they have just 88 floors and the Skybridge (170m) between the towers is way, way lower than Toronto's CN Tower Sky Pod (446m). But they are pretty buildings, visible right across KL and that's the point; they are the only high buildings in KL. Contrast with Manhattan and the Empire State, Chrysler, World Trade, etc. The World Trade towers had 110 stories and that's a 2-for-1 deal. Makes the Taipei-101 (509m, 101 floors) look pretty, but lonely. The big daddy is the Burj Dubai, which when finished will take all records; currently (April 2008) it has 162 floors and is over 600m high, and might be over 900m when done (they haven't decided yet). Very impressive, but even lonelier.

What sometimes gets lost in the hubris of world records is relative scale. If the London Eye was bigger, you would have to put it somewhere else to avoid a visual clash. A spike, nearly a kilometer high, rising from the vast Dubai desert can never look too big. The Singapore Flyer is tucked out of the way and doesn't clash with a relatively low-rise downtown Singapore.

I've been on the London Eye and it's a nice view. The river location, opposite the Palace of Westminster is immediately familiar and you can easily see as far as the Dome and beyond. No, I haven't been on the Flyer yet. Standard fare is $29.50 (£11) which isn't bad (the London Eye is £13.95) so I'll check it out at some point, but it's a toss up between daytime for visibility and nighttime for effect.

The Great Wheel Corporation spent $340 million (£128m) building the Flyer (you're not allowed to called it a Ferris Wheel, the F-word is banned). Mind you, they re-couped some of that quickly as the first "flight" (another London Eye reference) was charged to corporate clients at S$8,888 (£3,340), for luck. Less lucky for Singapore is that the Great Wheel Corp is already planning bigger wheels in Beijing and Berlin over the next 2 years. Which brings us to the moral of the story; people only remember the first and the best.

Set Chair to Stun

I've had a couple of massages in my life and I've pretty much hated every one. I've never needed a massage for medical purposes and I don't enjoy them enough to do them recreationally. In Singapore, I appear to be in my very small minority of my own.

At the low end, there's retired guys doing a spot of home business, handing out flyers offering a "Good Facial massage" for $10 (£3.40). Massage around Asia takes different styles but it's pretty common all over and he was covering all bases with 3 languages; English ("Facial"), Chinese and Malay ("Cu Ci Muka", or "wash face").

A lesser observed practice is fire cupping which leaves distinctive, round bruises on the skin but we are getting off into traditional Chinese medicine now, which has a distinct and robust status alongside Western medicine, not euphemistically like Complementary Medicine. Chinese will happily use both, simultaneously without any sense of conflict.

Local shopping areas usually have a reflexology shop that is often full to bursting on weekends. My local offers a 40min foot massage for $22 (£8.20) or a 20min upper body massage for $18 (£6.70), both available on a buy 10 and get 2 free basis. Discounting bulk appointments is very common to gain repeat business in a notoriously fickle customer base. I've heard good things about reflexology, but again, I've never felt ill enough to give it a try, though now I'm curious why it's half the cost of an upper body massage; in a surface area / mass basis, it sounds like the wrong way around.

Serious body wobblers have machinery at home, usually made by Osim who do massage chairs, foot massagers, back massagers, eye massagers, and more. We are talking major hardware here. The range of chairs includes a model with mood lighting, synchronised music plus massage and costs £3,000. This thing isn't a chair, it's an escape pod. I amazes me where they find the space to put such huge pieces of furniture but it's really just one end of a market for self-health products in a country without an NHS.

Keeping in Touch

We get regular yellow A5 flyers from the local political organisation. The ruling party (PAP) has an extensive grassroots presence as a bi-directional link to understand and influence opinion. I'm not against it in any way and I'm pretty sure Singaporeans have greater access to their MP and their local party organisation than I would in England.

Singaporean society is a pyramid with a lot of lowly-paid, working class people at the bottom and ensuring their needs are met is a constant political priority. Tax breaks, freebies, allowances, HDB upgrades, more buses; there are lots of options.

Here's a flyer from a few months back:

Nee Soon South Citizen's Consultative Committee

Free distribution

Vegetables every Friday at Block 718

Bread every Wednesday at Block 783, 804 & 832

Dried food every month at Block 783, 804 & 832

This project will be especially helpful to our needy residents, especially in the run-up to Chinese New Year.

We have drawn up a list of residents who qualify for this free food scheme. Please let me know of anyone else who should also be added to this list so that we can reach out to them.

MP Er Lee Bee Wah

It's a level of direct political touchy-feely that not even local councils achieve in England where instead, perhaps, non-political charities would be taking such roles. Singapore is smaller, sure, but a 49year continuity of ruling party must be a significant factor in such a pervasive, grass-root organisation.